Paramour
by CallMeParrot
Summary: Written for a love-themed contest over on deviantART. Shepard confesses her feelings to Garrus after a night together before facing the Collectors head on. Rated M for adult themes: alcohol, sex .


Shepard stepped into the Tech Lab and approached Mordin. She wanted to get some personal lubricant from him, but the thought of asking made her want to run and hide. It reminded her of 'The Talk' she'd had with her parents when she was thirteen. So embarrassing... Steeling her nerves, she stopped in front of Mordin's desk.

"Have you got a minute to talk?" she asked.

"Actually, wanted to talk," Mordin replied, stepping away from his desk. "Medical matters."

Mordin came to stand beside her and she turned to face him.

"Aware that mission is dangerous," he continued, "Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal for humans and turians. Still, recommend caution. Warn of chafing."

Oh God, were Shepard and Garrus making their interest in each other that obvious? She knew all too well about the chafing, though. "I intend to be cautious, doctor," she said. "But Garrus is important to me. You're not going to scare me off."

Mordin nodded. "Of course. Hormones. Regardless, come see me later. May need analgesic. Chafing."

"You have a recommendation as a doctor?"

"Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible. So don't..." he coughed, "...ingest."

Heat flooded Shepard's face so fast she thought she'd bleed from the nose. Okay, so no oral sex...damn. Well, better to be alive to enjoy sex than choking to death from anaphylactic shock, right?

"Also forwarding advice booklet to your quarters," Mordin continued, his omni-tool lighting up around his forearm. "Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews. Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary."

Wait, what? What was 'electronic relationship aid demonstration vids' supposed to mean? Porn? "Wait a minute, Mordin. You're just yanking me around, aren't you?"

Mordin stepped back, looking mildly offended. "Shocking suggestion!" he exclaimed. "Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust! Would never dream of mockery." Then he smiled and moved back toward his desk. "Enjoy yourself while possible, Shepard. Will be here, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required."

Shepard acquired a selection of oils and lubricants from him, then left him to his work. She held the bottles against her stomach and hid them from view with her hands, walking quickly to the elevator. She thought back to her second duty station on Elysium when she was twenty-two as the elevator went up to her cabin. About the turian bunkmate she'd had. Decimus Arkas. She'd learned about chafing the hard way with him. To be fair, neither of them knew that his rough skin would have rubbed her thighs raw. Still, it was good.

Stepping off the elevator, Shepard used her elbow to unlock and open her door, then crossed the room and deposited the bottles of oil and lubricant on the nightstand. Standing back, she surveyed her room briefly. It was spotless. But soon, clothes would be scattered over the floor. Abandoning her boots at the couch, Shepard got clean clothes from her closet and disappeared into the bathroom. For a captain's cabin designed with personal comfort in mind, the bathroom was tiny. Shepard put the clean clothes onto the shelf with the towels, stripped down and tossed her worn clothes into the laundry chute.

Standing in front of the mirror, she looked at herself. The various scars on her body left by the reconstructive surgeries were barely visible, but the ones on her face still glowed. They were thin and faint, but they sure stuck out. At least to her. Passing her fingertips over her face, she looked at her eyes. They were still light blue, but the pupils glowed faintly red. She'd never get used to that.

Chakwas had said keeping a positive outlook would help the scars heal, stop glowing. But how could she stay positive? She was brought back from the dead to be used by the Illusive Man. His two lapdogs watched her every move, recorded her every word and action to report back to him. There was nothing positive about _that._ The only positive thing on this ship, besides Joker and Chakwas' familiar faces and Joker's sense of humor that made her cry with the memories as much as laugh, was Garrus. He made this second life worth living.

Shepard pulled the bobby pins from her hair and shook it loose, then stepped into the shower and turned on the water.

† † †

After getting dressed, Shepard put her hair up out of habit. She stepped out of the bathroom as she secured the last bobby pin and a shape to her left caught her eye. She turned her head and was pleasantly surprised to see Garrus. He wore a casual shirt and pants, and held a bottle in his left hand.

"Hey," he said. "I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante's salary."

Shepard crossed her arms and smiled at him. He hurried over to the audio control on the frame of the display case beside her desk and selected a song, then looked at her. She pressed her lips together so she wouldn't giggle at the adorableness of it all. He moved away from the display case, holding his arms out a bit, and came to stand near the fish tank. She uncrossed her arms and walked over to him.

"If you were a turian, I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So...your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist is...very supportive," he said awkwardly, glancing at her waist.

Shepard placed a hand on her hip and kept smiling at him. She'd better put him out of his awkward, adorable misery soon, or he might find a way to disappear into the floor.

"Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture," he continued, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Crap. I knew I should have watched the vids. Throw me a line, here, Shepard," he begged.

Her lips parted to reveal her teeth and she said, "Calm down, Garrus. You're worrying too much. And talking too much."

He watched her as she crossed to the display case frame and turned off the music, then walked back over to him.

"I just... I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard," he said softly. "My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis..." he trailed off, looking down and shaking his head. "I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."

He trailed off again as she stepped toward him, lifting her left hand to the scarred right side of his face. She caressed his cheek gently and his eyes met hers, then he bent forward and touched their foreheads together. His hand came up toward her face but hesitated, brushing her shoulder softly instead. Taking the bottle of wine from him, Shepard led him to the couch and sat down with him, setting the bottle on the coffee table.

"I brought it for you," he said after a moment.

"Let me have a sip, then," she replied with a smile.

She retrieved a glass and sat back down, then picked up the bottle and poured some of the wine into the glass. It was white wine. Picking up the glass, she brought it to her nose and took in the scent. It was sweet and peachy smelling, with a vague vinegar tang. She took a sip and swirled it over her tongue, then swallowed. It tasted just like it smelled. Garrus watched her with interest.

"It's good," she told him. His shoulders relaxed.

Shepard set the glass down beside the bottle and licked her lips as she slid closer to him. He watched her and she heard his breath pick up as she leaned in. She studied his face and lifted one hand, taking off his visor. He winked his eye shut as the eyepiece was lifted away and blinked several times. Shepard didn't give him time to focus his gaze again. She kissed him, setting the visor down on the couch. He squeaked softly in surprise and tried awkwardly to reciprocate. His lips were firm, but were pliable enough and had enough give to them that after a few moments, he was pressing closer, slipping an arm around her waist. She heard a couple quiet thumps as he worked his boots off and kicked them aside.

After a few long minutes, they pulled apart and Shepard rose up onto her knees, crawling into Garrus' lap. He sat back, his hands sliding down her back, over her butt and along her thighs. As she looked for a way to take off his shirt, his hands were pulling open her Cerberus uniform's jacket. She shrugged her shoulders out of the sleeves and let him pull it off, then held her arms up when he pulled her shirt up.

Her shirt joined her jacket on the floor and Shepard lowered her arms as Garrus laid his head on her chest. His skin was rough and his breath was warm. Shepard gently cupped her hand on his scarred cheek, her other hand sliding along the top of his head and over his fringe. He let out a low purr and wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her close.

"Shepard..." he whispered.

"Shh..." Shepard ran her thumb over his lips softly.

Sliding out of his lap, she stood and pulled him to his feet, then grabbed the hem of his shirt. He helped her get it off and she tossed it aside carelessly, his hands sliding over her shoulders and arms as she ran her hands over his chest. He bent down to kiss her and she rose up onto her toes, meeting him halfway. Her arms encircled his waist and she explored his back, feeling the texture of his dermal plating. He had scars...probably from bullets. She felt him run his fingers through her hair and laughed softly when they got caught in the bun she'd twisted her damp locks into. Reaching up, she tugged the bobby pins free and dropped them on the coffee table, then Garrus tugged her hair loose and ran his fingers through it.

Shepard slid her hands down to his hips and grabbed the waistband of his pants. He had to help her untangle the garment from the spurs on his legs and they ended up laughing over it. Then she was pushing him onto the bed and he was spreading out beneath her. She straddled him and felt mildly silly in the back of her mind for still having her pants on when he was naked.

She leaned down and started kissing his neck. Garrus tipped his head back and purred softly as he ran the tips of his claws down her back lightly. Goosebumps followed his fingers and when she shivered, she could hear the grin in his low chuckle.

"You're beautiful, Shepard...for a human," he said softly.

"I never considered myself to be," she replied, lifting her head.

"But you are. Let me see all of you," he murmured.

Garrus tugged at the waistband of her pants and she straightened, standing up on her knees. She went to unbuckle her belt, but he stopped her, pushing her hands away.

"Let me do it," he said.

Shepard let her hands hang at her sides while he unfastened her belt, then unbuttoned and unzipped her pants. He tugged her pants down over her thighs, the tips of his claws catching on the waistband of her panties. Putting one hand on his stomach, she stood with her feet on either side of his hips. Garrus looked positively delicious lying there like that. Hooking her thumbs underneath the waistband of her panties, she made to push them down.

"Hey," he complained, reaching up to tug at her panties.

Shepard smiled and moved her hands away, letting him pull her pants and panties down to her ankles. She stepped out of them and kicked the garments to the floor as Garrus sat up and nuzzled her inner thigh softly, his hands on her hips. She lifted her hands and caressed his fringe and the mandibles on either side of his mouth. He purred softly and sat up more, pressing his flat, ridged nose against her skin and inhaling deeply. Heat shot up her spine as he touched her there, then she sank down to her knees and loosely wrapped her arms around his head, resting her cheek on top of his head. His hands slid up her back to her shoulders.

"I can't express how much I need this...how much I want it," Garrus said quietly, running his fingers through her hair.

His breath was warm on her skin as Shepard slid into his lap. "I want this more than anything," she whispered.

She ghosted her fingertips along the bandage covering much of the right side of Garrus' neck, head and jaw. She frowned, the back of her throat feeling tight. If she'd only been more thorough in disabling that gunship, if she'd only shot it down faster...

"Don't," Garrus chided softly, grabbing her hand. "You had nothing to do with that."

Shepard swallowed, blinking away tears. She hadn't slept that night, after rushing him to Chakwas' medical lab and being firmly ushered out. She'd wanted to be there when he woke up, but Chakwas had employed Jacob to keep her out.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered.

"But you didn't," Garrus replied gently. "I'm alright."

Shepard looked at the bandage again and tentatively asked, "Does it hurt?"

"Sometimes," Garrus admitted. "But at the moment, it's nothing."

Cupping her hand on the left side of Garrus' head, Shepard pressed her lips to his scarred cheek as gently as she could. He tipped his head toward hers, his hands sliding down to her hips.

"Take the bandage off," he said.

Shepard sat back slightly and looked at him. Take it off? Chakwas and Mordin would both chew them out, but if Shepard didn't do it, Garrus would do it himself. And he couldn't see what he was doing. Biting her lip, Shepard began to carefully remove the bandage, hoping anything underneath didn't _need_ to be covered by it. Garrus winced slightly as she peeled the bandage away, but he stayed still and quiet. Gradually, all of the scarring was revealed. All of the scarring, and the dim glow of cybernetics.

Shepard lowered her hands, the bandage in them, and gazed at the scarring and cybernetics. His injuries had been worse than she thought. And without the cybernetics, he'd have died. Without her own cybernetics, Shepard would still _be_ dead.

"Mm, find me attractive yet?" Garrus joked, chuckling softly.

"You're always attractive to me." Shepard told him.

And it was true. She placed another light kiss on his cheek and he grunted softly in pain. She pulled back quickly, lifting her hand toward his face but not touching.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No, it wasn't you," Garrus tried to assure her. "Laughing still hurts a bit. I'll get over it."

It was then that Shepard realized she still wore her bra. She laid the bandage aside and grasped Garrus' wrists gently, picking up his hands and guiding them behind her, to the bra clasp. He tugged his wrists free of her grasp and purred quietly, fumbling with the clasp for half a second before getting it unlatched. Shepard shrugged the straps off her shoulders and grabbed the bra, tugging it off and tossing it onto the floor to join the rest of their clothes.

His eyes studied her body and she found herself blushing, then he grabbed her around the waist and turned, playfully throwing her onto the bed. She gave a surprised yelp and laughed softly as he crawled on top of her. He sat on the bed between her legs and explored her with his hands first. Then he kissed his way up her body to her lips and she hugged him tightly against her as his weight settled on top of her.

† † †

Afterward, they lay wrapped in each other's arms, content. The bottles of oil and lubricant were scattered over the nightstand and part of the bed. Shepard was glad her cabin was secluded from the rest of the ship, or else the entire crew would have known what was going on. Thankfully EDI, that nosy AI, kept her digital nose out of their business. If she was curious about something, she could embarrass Joker with her very straightforward questions.

Garrus took in a deep breath and let out a contented sigh, shifting Shepard's thoughts to what was to come. The Collectors. Her heart lurched at the thought that one of them, or neither of them, might not make it out alive. She had to say it now, in case she never got the chance later.

She took in a breath. "Garrus,"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

Garrus turned toward her more, meeting her eyes. "What?" he breathed.

Tears welled in her eyes before she could stop them. "I love you," she repeated. "I had to say it, Garrus—I had to tell you before I—"

"Stop. Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare say that like you won't live through this," Garrus said as he put his hands on either side of her face, his voice hard. "Don't you dare. You're going to lead us through this, and damn it, we're _all _going live through it. You hear me?"

Shepard stared at him, her hands on top of his. He seemed...angry at her admission. No. No, angry that she was saying it because she thought she wouldn't survive.

"Shepard," he demanded, giving her a light shake.

She nodded and blinked, tears rolling free of her eyelashes. "I hear you," she said.

"Good. Because I love you, too."

Before she could reply, with words or laughter or more tears, he kissed her. She kissed him back, putting her arms around him as he pinned her beneath him.


End file.
